“Perseverance” isn’t just a long word...

I'm blessed to have friends like this, but what makes it ten times better is hearing stories like Sharon's.  She is a friend that I have asked to contribute to this blog.  I have known her for most of my life and has been a dear friend for all of it.  Remember, this is not easy.  But when you have an awesome support group and you can do it for the right reasons, anything is possible.  Go Sharon!

I am honored to be guest posting for my long-time friend (and once prom date – HA) to contribute to thoughts on healthy living.  My story is personal because I know what works for one person doesn’t work for another.  I just hope that it gives someone else who struggles with weight and health and fitness a little feeling of “kindred spirit” when they find out that it’s hard for other people too!

I have struggled with my weight since after college, and it’s been a frustrating and emotional ride.  And I know that the struggle isn’t over – it will never be over.  That’s why I have three pictures to show: a before, an after, and a ‘now’, where my before is a skinny picture.  The picture of me in the black dress is from October, 2008, shortly after I got married.  I had lost weight before our wedding because I got up to 198 and thought “there is no way I’m going over 200” and joined Weight Watchers.  Then I couldn’t keep that up forever because it required tracking every single thing that I put in my mouth, and that is not a realistic life plan for me.  

 

 

The picture of me in the red top is from June 2010, less than TWO YEARS later, and I had ballooned in weight.  I had changed some medication, but I was also eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and as much as I wanted.  That’s a dangerous situation for someone like me who struggles with weight.  Previously whenever I had eaten like that, I got to about 198.  But apparently nearing 30 years old had me hitting about 230 pounds in that picture.  I was unhappy and didn’t have clothes that fit, not to mention someone had asked me if was pregnant when I was NOT.  I cried for days over that – seriously for days off and on.  And it happened at work – I was humiliated.  Oh and she asked me in front of other people too.  I have very few pictures of me at this time because seeing myself in pictures or a mirror made me sad.  I hit 236 pounds and realized I had to do something (and longed for the days I was 198 and swearing not to go over 200 pounds).  I got off the medication that was problematic, but sadly that’s didn’t make me drop 50 pounds.  Go figure!  So I decided, with a heavy heart, to try to lose weight again by restricting what I ate.

 

I got down to about 222, but wasn’t feeling happy or motivated because I still felt uncomfortable in my clothes and my own skin.  But then some major life changes happened that were all for the better.  My husband and I sold our house, and then we relocated for a new job of mine from Ohio to Tennessee.  Although this causes more stress for people, my husband and I found a great quality of life.  We bought a house with a lower mortgage payment, I commuted 11 minutes to work each way instead of 45, my work day was shorter (done at 4:30 now!), my new job paid me a much higher salary, the winters were less snowy and more sunny, my husband did not get a job so he was taking care of all laundry/cleaning/dishes/errands, and then my evenings and weekends were filled with quality time with him including games, movies, hiking, and just being happy. 

All these changes happened within a few months of moving, so my happiness scale was much higher with everything in life except my weight.  And not that I care about a number…trust me, I don’t.  But I wanted to feel good about myself.  I wanted to feel confident and start playing volleyball again.  I missed my ‘feel good’ body.  So the ultimate catalyst for me to get in shape was more a timing issue than anything else.  With so little stress and so much bliss in my life, undertaking the ‘must get healthier’ actions that I knew I needed seemed easier.  Then at work we did a health challenge beginning in January 2013.  We had a competition who could earn more points for things like eating fruits, veggies, not eating late at night, doing exercise, losing weight, etc.  Well, competition speaks to me like nothing else (which is why I won)!!  There were weekly prizes and a cash prize at the end, so I was in!  Also in January 2013 we took a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University and started attacking our debt (which included paying off a home improvement on a house we sold in Ohio a year before).  Combine all that and I just felt a total shift in my life toward joy and peace.  It made the actions I took for getting healthy much easier.

Notice I did not say it made losing weight easy.  It did not make my workouts simple.  It just seemed easier in the big picture to start taking actions for a healthier life, and the timing was right.  So in January 2013 I was 224 pounds.  The picture of me in the orange shirt is from November 2013 at 178.  I was back in the 170s!!!  That was my goal (never a specific number) and to be back in a size 14 clothes. 

 

I picked that goal because I know that in the 170s is where I find the balance of not starving or depriving myself, but feeling really good.  It took 11 months, which seems fast as I type it.  But when I think about what it took, it was slow but steady.  Here are the major actions that contributed:

·         I started playing volleyball again, but did have to stop for my knee injury – I was too heavy and played too long for my knees to support jumping on all that weight.  So I needed different exercise.

·         I begin doing workouts: 30 day shred and body revolution.  I did them at 6:15am before work because they all took like 30 minutes – short sweet and to the point with lots of exercise types to satisfy my exercise ADD.

·        I decided to start running.  This was MONUMENTAL because I hated running with a white fiery passion that was the joke of my family because my sister and dad were big runners (they were the people who did 20 miles a week and college cross country to give you an idea).  I thought I would try it because it burns more calories per minute of exercise than anything else – that sounds good to me!  I bought running shoes and began the couch to 5k program and now I run 10 miles a week.  Personally I enjoy running longer distances at a slower pace than trying to be fast, but I’m lapping my old self sitting on the couch!  And I do actually enjoy it, which amazes my dad and sister.  Something about feeling productive and accomplished and knowing that I’m making myself healthy keeps me motivated.  Especially when I get up at 5:30am to run before work twice a week while it’s dark out and only 15 degrees!

·         I wrangled my eating, which means it’s good enough to keep me steady at a healthy place.  It’s not perfect by any means, but it works for me.  I now eat breakfast every day (fruit smoothie, then baked oatmeal for 2^nd breakfast).  I eat less at every meal – so until I’m full, not stuffed.  That means I might have snacks or eat more often, but I never feel miserably full.  I try to eat more carbs at breakfast/lunch and less at dinner.  I make the veggies the biggest thing on my plate for dinner and the main dish is more like a side dish.  So basically I fill up on veggies and salad.  I no longer eat snacks at night.  I rarely eat sweets, which wasn’t hard for me because I love salty snacks.  So like right now at my house there are chocolate chip cookies, Klondike bars, and chocolates, and it doesn’t bother me at all.  But the Sun Chips and pistachios whisper sweet nothings to me every day!  I eat out only once a week on average, and that helps a lot because I control my ingredients (I use light dressings, fat free sour cream, skim milk, etc.)  I often cook the same main dish for me and my husband and make us different side dishes.  He lets me pick the restaurant so I can pick something healthy.

·         I tracked what I was eating AT FIRST.  I used myfitnesspal.com to track my calories to get a handle on the balance of my calories, fat, sodium, etc.  I was often eating a ton of calories in what I thought was healthy, and I realized a certain amount of fat is fine, etc.  I stopped tracking my food in September to try to keep it going as a permanent change by what I learned.  I know I can fall back on restarting this if I start gaining weight and am not sure why.

·         I follow a lot of blogs (including this one!) that talked about fitness, weight struggles, running, triathletes, successes, before/afters, etc.  I wanted to be surrounded by camaraderie, and it was comforting!

So here is the good news: I hit my goal, I’m happy, and I just brought more joy and bliss to my life.  My husband has been incredibly supportive in all of my life and he made this possible.  My friends have been patient listening to me rant and rave about running and food and weirdness (including Bill!) and that keeps me sane.  I feel so much better that I don’t really care what I weigh specifically.  That’s why I don’t track food.  I do weigh myself to make sure that I stay below 180, but if that’s 179 or 174, I don’t care.  I have no further number goals.  And I feel like I got incredibly lucky with the stars aligning to create a wonderful situation for me to make this possible.

Its still hard.  For example, last night the girls came over and there was pizza and cookies.  Um, yeah.  I ate two pieces of pizza and one small cookie, plus we had salad and hummus.  I STILL WANTED TO EAT SIX PIECES OF PIZZA.  That wanting hasn’t go away.  Especially pizza – my favorite food probably.  I want the desire to overeat to go away, but it hasn’t.  It’s easier to avoid it because of all the progress I’ve made, but I would love to not have to think about it.  There are days I don’t want to run, but I’m scared to decrease my activity for fear of regaining.  But once I get out and running I like it for endorphins and for mental sanity, plus my music is fun!

Psychologically I am a little wonky because I still see myself as a big girl.  I am going to tackle a triathlon on June 1, and I registered in the Athena division.  It’s for women who are over 166 pounds.  Currently at 177 pounds, I am over that, and I will most likely be over that in June, which is fine!  But when I discussed it with my sister she asked me why I would do Athena instead of my age group of 35-39, and I told her so I could compete with other big girls like me.  And she said “you’re not a big girl.”  Other people have said I’m wasting away or I’m tiny.  It’s not that I want to be little – I love the body I have and I like the way it looks.  But I feel proportionately bigger than normal, no matter how much weight I have lost.  So it’s weird to hear them say that (but so much better than asking me if I’m preggo!).  I have to make a conscious effort to talk to myself in a positive way and retrain my brain.  I worry it will always be that way, but if that’s my biggest burden, bring it on!

So there’s my journey for the last year (with a little history thrown in).  From my heaviest, I have lost 59 pounds.  I hope my story is interesting at the very least, and at the most makes someone feel like anything is possible, no matter how many times you’ve tried before, and that no one’s journey is perfect.  So don’t expect your journey to health to be flawless.  It’s not possible (especially not with pizza in existence!)

Thanks to Bill for asking me to share my story, and for being a great friend since high school chemistry class, even when we have lost touch here and there for a few years.  When we re-connect, it’s like no time has passed, except this time we got skinner ;)