“Perseverance” isn’t just a long word...

I'm blessed to have friends like this, but what makes it ten times better is hearing stories like Sharon's.  She is a friend that I have asked to contribute to this blog.  I have known her for most of my life and has been a dear friend for all of it.  Remember, this is not easy.  But when you have an awesome support group and you can do it for the right reasons, anything is possible.  Go Sharon!

I am honored to be guest posting for my long-time friend (and once prom date – HA) to contribute to thoughts on healthy living.  My story is personal because I know what works for one person doesn’t work for another.  I just hope that it gives someone else who struggles with weight and health and fitness a little feeling of “kindred spirit” when they find out that it’s hard for other people too!

I have struggled with my weight since after college, and it’s been a frustrating and emotional ride.  And I know that the struggle isn’t over – it will never be over.  That’s why I have three pictures to show: a before, an after, and a ‘now’, where my before is a skinny picture.  The picture of me in the black dress is from October, 2008, shortly after I got married.  I had lost weight before our wedding because I got up to 198 and thought “there is no way I’m going over 200” and joined Weight Watchers.  Then I couldn’t keep that up forever because it required tracking every single thing that I put in my mouth, and that is not a realistic life plan for me.  

 

 

The picture of me in the red top is from June 2010, less than TWO YEARS later, and I had ballooned in weight.  I had changed some medication, but I was also eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and as much as I wanted.  That’s a dangerous situation for someone like me who struggles with weight.  Previously whenever I had eaten like that, I got to about 198.  But apparently nearing 30 years old had me hitting about 230 pounds in that picture.  I was unhappy and didn’t have clothes that fit, not to mention someone had asked me if was pregnant when I was NOT.  I cried for days over that – seriously for days off and on.  And it happened at work – I was humiliated.  Oh and she asked me in front of other people too.  I have very few pictures of me at this time because seeing myself in pictures or a mirror made me sad.  I hit 236 pounds and realized I had to do something (and longed for the days I was 198 and swearing not to go over 200 pounds).  I got off the medication that was problematic, but sadly that’s didn’t make me drop 50 pounds.  Go figure!  So I decided, with a heavy heart, to try to lose weight again by restricting what I ate.

 

I got down to about 222, but wasn’t feeling happy or motivated because I still felt uncomfortable in my clothes and my own skin.  But then some major life changes happened that were all for the better.  My husband and I sold our house, and then we relocated for a new job of mine from Ohio to Tennessee.  Although this causes more stress for people, my husband and I found a great quality of life.  We bought a house with a lower mortgage payment, I commuted 11 minutes to work each way instead of 45, my work day was shorter (done at 4:30 now!), my new job paid me a much higher salary, the winters were less snowy and more sunny, my husband did not get a job so he was taking care of all laundry/cleaning/dishes/errands, and then my evenings and weekends were filled with quality time with him including games, movies, hiking, and just being happy. 

All these changes happened within a few months of moving, so my happiness scale was much higher with everything in life except my weight.  And not that I care about a number…trust me, I don’t.  But I wanted to feel good about myself.  I wanted to feel confident and start playing volleyball again.  I missed my ‘feel good’ body.  So the ultimate catalyst for me to get in shape was more a timing issue than anything else.  With so little stress and so much bliss in my life, undertaking the ‘must get healthier’ actions that I knew I needed seemed easier.  Then at work we did a health challenge beginning in January 2013.  We had a competition who could earn more points for things like eating fruits, veggies, not eating late at night, doing exercise, losing weight, etc.  Well, competition speaks to me like nothing else (which is why I won)!!  There were weekly prizes and a cash prize at the end, so I was in!  Also in January 2013 we took a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University and started attacking our debt (which included paying off a home improvement on a house we sold in Ohio a year before).  Combine all that and I just felt a total shift in my life toward joy and peace.  It made the actions I took for getting healthy much easier.

Notice I did not say it made losing weight easy.  It did not make my workouts simple.  It just seemed easier in the big picture to start taking actions for a healthier life, and the timing was right.  So in January 2013 I was 224 pounds.  The picture of me in the orange shirt is from November 2013 at 178.  I was back in the 170s!!!  That was my goal (never a specific number) and to be back in a size 14 clothes. 

 

I picked that goal because I know that in the 170s is where I find the balance of not starving or depriving myself, but feeling really good.  It took 11 months, which seems fast as I type it.  But when I think about what it took, it was slow but steady.  Here are the major actions that contributed:

·         I started playing volleyball again, but did have to stop for my knee injury – I was too heavy and played too long for my knees to support jumping on all that weight.  So I needed different exercise.

·         I begin doing workouts: 30 day shred and body revolution.  I did them at 6:15am before work because they all took like 30 minutes – short sweet and to the point with lots of exercise types to satisfy my exercise ADD.

·        I decided to start running.  This was MONUMENTAL because I hated running with a white fiery passion that was the joke of my family because my sister and dad were big runners (they were the people who did 20 miles a week and college cross country to give you an idea).  I thought I would try it because it burns more calories per minute of exercise than anything else – that sounds good to me!  I bought running shoes and began the couch to 5k program and now I run 10 miles a week.  Personally I enjoy running longer distances at a slower pace than trying to be fast, but I’m lapping my old self sitting on the couch!  And I do actually enjoy it, which amazes my dad and sister.  Something about feeling productive and accomplished and knowing that I’m making myself healthy keeps me motivated.  Especially when I get up at 5:30am to run before work twice a week while it’s dark out and only 15 degrees!

·         I wrangled my eating, which means it’s good enough to keep me steady at a healthy place.  It’s not perfect by any means, but it works for me.  I now eat breakfast every day (fruit smoothie, then baked oatmeal for 2^nd breakfast).  I eat less at every meal – so until I’m full, not stuffed.  That means I might have snacks or eat more often, but I never feel miserably full.  I try to eat more carbs at breakfast/lunch and less at dinner.  I make the veggies the biggest thing on my plate for dinner and the main dish is more like a side dish.  So basically I fill up on veggies and salad.  I no longer eat snacks at night.  I rarely eat sweets, which wasn’t hard for me because I love salty snacks.  So like right now at my house there are chocolate chip cookies, Klondike bars, and chocolates, and it doesn’t bother me at all.  But the Sun Chips and pistachios whisper sweet nothings to me every day!  I eat out only once a week on average, and that helps a lot because I control my ingredients (I use light dressings, fat free sour cream, skim milk, etc.)  I often cook the same main dish for me and my husband and make us different side dishes.  He lets me pick the restaurant so I can pick something healthy.

·         I tracked what I was eating AT FIRST.  I used myfitnesspal.com to track my calories to get a handle on the balance of my calories, fat, sodium, etc.  I was often eating a ton of calories in what I thought was healthy, and I realized a certain amount of fat is fine, etc.  I stopped tracking my food in September to try to keep it going as a permanent change by what I learned.  I know I can fall back on restarting this if I start gaining weight and am not sure why.

·         I follow a lot of blogs (including this one!) that talked about fitness, weight struggles, running, triathletes, successes, before/afters, etc.  I wanted to be surrounded by camaraderie, and it was comforting!

So here is the good news: I hit my goal, I’m happy, and I just brought more joy and bliss to my life.  My husband has been incredibly supportive in all of my life and he made this possible.  My friends have been patient listening to me rant and rave about running and food and weirdness (including Bill!) and that keeps me sane.  I feel so much better that I don’t really care what I weigh specifically.  That’s why I don’t track food.  I do weigh myself to make sure that I stay below 180, but if that’s 179 or 174, I don’t care.  I have no further number goals.  And I feel like I got incredibly lucky with the stars aligning to create a wonderful situation for me to make this possible.

Its still hard.  For example, last night the girls came over and there was pizza and cookies.  Um, yeah.  I ate two pieces of pizza and one small cookie, plus we had salad and hummus.  I STILL WANTED TO EAT SIX PIECES OF PIZZA.  That wanting hasn’t go away.  Especially pizza – my favorite food probably.  I want the desire to overeat to go away, but it hasn’t.  It’s easier to avoid it because of all the progress I’ve made, but I would love to not have to think about it.  There are days I don’t want to run, but I’m scared to decrease my activity for fear of regaining.  But once I get out and running I like it for endorphins and for mental sanity, plus my music is fun!

Psychologically I am a little wonky because I still see myself as a big girl.  I am going to tackle a triathlon on June 1, and I registered in the Athena division.  It’s for women who are over 166 pounds.  Currently at 177 pounds, I am over that, and I will most likely be over that in June, which is fine!  But when I discussed it with my sister she asked me why I would do Athena instead of my age group of 35-39, and I told her so I could compete with other big girls like me.  And she said “you’re not a big girl.”  Other people have said I’m wasting away or I’m tiny.  It’s not that I want to be little – I love the body I have and I like the way it looks.  But I feel proportionately bigger than normal, no matter how much weight I have lost.  So it’s weird to hear them say that (but so much better than asking me if I’m preggo!).  I have to make a conscious effort to talk to myself in a positive way and retrain my brain.  I worry it will always be that way, but if that’s my biggest burden, bring it on!

So there’s my journey for the last year (with a little history thrown in).  From my heaviest, I have lost 59 pounds.  I hope my story is interesting at the very least, and at the most makes someone feel like anything is possible, no matter how many times you’ve tried before, and that no one’s journey is perfect.  So don’t expect your journey to health to be flawless.  It’s not possible (especially not with pizza in existence!)

Thanks to Bill for asking me to share my story, and for being a great friend since high school chemistry class, even when we have lost touch here and there for a few years.  When we re-connect, it’s like no time has passed, except this time we got skinner ;)

"Extra-size"

Dad are you going to Extra-size? 

“No, it’s exercise.  Ex-ER-cise.”  My son so delicately explains to his little sister.  Anybody that is around kids can relate.  It is a lot of fun hearing how they pronounce certain words and phrases.  I love it.  They are getting close to the age though were this goes away.  And it makes me sad.

 

The thing though that makes me happy is that they see what mom and dad are doing and that is staying active.  Staying healthy and making time for them all at once.  Both are active.  My son and I will have little push up contests and my daughter will challenge daddy to do a bridge.  A bridge is when you lie on your back, put your hands behind your head and push your body up off the floor.  Now facing the ceiling my body WOULD be arched like a bridge.  I lose every single time.  She knows it too.  They both show me how big their muscles are getting.  Both want to run in a 5K this summer.  I might have to scale back for my daughter, but she’ll fight be the entire way.  My son on the other hand thinks he’s ready too.  “Ok” I told him, we’ll practice and see what he thinks.  I love the fact that both want to try something new and something that requires practice and work.

“Will he have to go to the Hos-ti-ble?”  No dear, he won’t have to go to the hospital, we’ll be fine.  I love my kids and I love it even more when they talk about Extra-sizing.

So much to be thankful for.

This past week we, my family and I along with many many friends celebrated my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.  I’m not much of a shopper so I don’t get caught up in the shopping.  This is a great time to sit back and reflect.  A great time to talk, share and celebrate what our Lord has given to all of us.  Soon we will celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior.  But today we give thanks to Him for all that he has provided.

It’s been some time since I’ve posted anything.  I have no excuses as I was getting over a cold and trying to get healthy again.  Why you might ask?  I wasn’t listening to my body.  There are times during our fitness struggles where our mind and our heart just aren’t in it and we forfeit that time to ‘avoid’ having to do anything.  Sometimes guilt sets in and sometimes remorse for missing out on our schedule.  Over the past couple of years I have struggled with all of these things.  In recent months I have been much better at sticking to a routine.  Thanks to being able to manage work outs and balance my life along with those work outs. 

Getting encouragement and having others help you get through your motivation albeit your heart or your head, you need somebody other than that person in the mirror to help you.  However, when your body says you need a break, you need to listen.  Remember we are blessed with our body’s and need to treat them as a gift.  When we don’t listen we break down.  Either muscle strains, ligament strains or sinus infections. 

 

 

In mid-November my wife and I trained for and ran in the Hot Chocolate Run in Columbus Ohio.  I’m so very proud of her by the way, it was her first 5K.  Needless to say my body was asking me to slow down.  I didn’t listen.  After the race the next morning I went to the doctor and it was determined I had a sinus infection and needed to take it easy before it gets worse.  Listen to your body.  There are times when you want to get over the hump, and you will.  There are times when you start seeing results that you want to keep going and don’t want to fall back into bad habit.  There are also times when its asking you to take it easy.  Do it.  Humble yourself.  In the end, give thanks to our Lord for all he has provided.  I know I have.

Discipline

The most difficult thing early in training is the discipline portion.  You can say you have the best intentions.  “I’m going to lose weight.”  “Tomorrow, I’m going to start running.”  “I want to look better.”  These types of ideas are only that, ideas.  It’s too broad.  They will always be ideas or intentions until they are implemented.  What I discovered through doing this is if you have broad idea’s or good intentions, then you leave yourself room to veer off track.  “I’m going to lose 25 pounds.  Starting tomorrow after I go out for a big dinner tonight.”  Or, you are 2 weeks into a routine and you take a couple days off because you just don’t ‘want’ to.  You have the best ideas or best intentions, but you are not discipline enough to hold yourself accountable to the plan.

This is when you realize you cannot do this alone.  One of the most difficult things that I found out during my journey through exercise is disciplining myself to get up, push through any discomfort and change my routine.  I had to commit to something before I started.  In 2012 I ran my first ever half marathon.  But before I started training and telling myself, “I’m going to run in a half marathon” I leave myself to much room to veer off track.  I would have left space so in case it got hard, I wasn’t committed to doing it and could quit.  So I did it.  I registered first.  I looked at my registration form, put on my work calendar 12 weeks out and daily reminders that would pop up.  I had a buddy that we held each other accountable that we would run.  If we didn’t run together, we would ask each other if we got our miles in today or this week.  You DISCIPLINE yourself to make sure that you do not let your accountability partner down.  Create that visual that you have to mark off or even report in on.
 

It’s right there.  Its right in front of you.  This is what I’m doing today.  Put it up somewhere you will see it every day.  Make it a part of your day.  Because when you do this you change your routine.  You change your thought process.  You change your life.  In the fall of 2012 I ran my 1^st ever Half Marathon in Akron Ohio.  In the spring of 2013 I ran my second in Cleveland.  A full year after running my first, I’ve run a total of 3.  But not without people like my wife, my friend Jamey and my others supporting me and holding me accountable.

 

 

Recently I read a passage in the Bible that talks about discipline.  Hebrews 12.  In my sons Bible this chapter is titled, “Gods Discipline Proves His Love.”  It does talk about how hard it is to be a follower of Christ and we are constantly being Disciplined by God.  But he loves us like a Father who disciplines his son, because he loves his son.  We are getting in shape for the right reasons.  Our bodies are temples of God, and we are to discipline ourselves physically equally as much spiritually to do what is right.  I’ll hold you accountable because I’m being held accountable too.

Adapting to change can be a faithful resonse.

Jesus said, "Abide in me and I abide in you." John 15:4

I have recognized that I have been blessed in more ways than one. My wife, my beautiful children and friends and family that sound me. But I have to admit that since the end of May, I can honestly say I have struggled with doing what I can to stay active and at times forgot about those blessings. At the end of May I was in a car accident in which another car ran a red light and slammed into the back driver side door of my car. 

 

It was a habit changing event. I went from running when I wanted for however long I wanted and from working out in my basement to INSANITY or P90X to not being able to do much after that. After developing a routine for 2 years and then having the routine changed dramatically it was extremely frustrating. I was down on myself, I was frustrated with the situation and didn’t know what I could or wanted to do. One thing I did know is that I didn’t want to go back to being that guy that was ‘comfortable’ at 217 pounds. I have continued with the Physical Therapy and continue to do what my body allows.

Unfortunately, I’m not absent pain. However, I am determined to continue to do something. I have gone back to what helped me through difficult times in my life. I turned to Jesus to help me deal with my anxiety, worries and frustrations because I felt like I was moving away from him. I didn’t lose the weight alone before and I knew that the pain and other external variables wouldn’t go away without him either. So I prayed and put my faith back in his hands. The pain is still there, but by the grace of God, good doctors and therapist and patience I pray that it subsides and eventually goes away.

It has slowly gotten better allowing me to move more. I’m able to do shorter runs, 3 to 6 miles with minimal pain. I’m a huge fan of Shaun T’s INSANITY program and knew I couldn’t go all out and not be uncomfortable in the process. When he developed a program called Focus T25 I knew that it would make a difference in people’s lives, so I bought it. 

 

 

I can honestly say I was a tad nervous. Lower impact, a visible modifier and only 25 minutes a day! I know, I sound like a commercial here but I was able to keep up doing what my body let me do. I want to heal and I want other people to heal. I want to feel better and I want other people to feel better. It can be done, and we can do it. You can do it alone…but it is so much more fun when it’s done with somebody else and when it is done for the right reasons.

It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth.

Mark 4:31

People will come and people will go in your life.  It’s the ones that come back that you know are truly your friends.  Or it’s the ones in your life that you can tell the same stories over and over and still laugh as hard as you did the first time you told it.  You know these types of people.  Either way they encourage you and support you and are always there for you to lend an ear and bounce an idea or two off of them.  I have been blessed to have both types of friends in my life. 

I have a friend that I’ve known since 8^th grade and we’ve been close ever since.  He married a wonderful woman and they have 2 beautiful little girls.  They’re family to me.  When I started this journey a couple years ago they were a part of it.  We had the chance to vacation together up in Michigan and I was training for my first ever half marathon.  They were accommodating with some of the foods I ate and didn’t eat (smores for breakfast), they put up with the running I ‘attempted’ to do most mornings.  A year later I was down another 15 pounds when we saw them again.  My life changed.  My life style changed.  My mind set had changed.  My physical appearance changed as well.    

They decided to join me in this experience and make some of their own changes.  Of course I was not aware of this initially.  Nearly 3 months ago they both, as a partnership and with the intent to hold each other accountable, purchased a home work out program.  INSANITY, by Shaun T.  I did this program from January through the middle of March of this year and fell in love with it myself.  They both finished at the end of September.  During this 60 days experience I warned them that it is hard but it will get addictive, especially when you start feeling and seeing results.  Well, needless to say, they are hooked!  Now they doing “HIP HOP ABS” and “FOCUS T25”.  I’m thrilled for them.  This is from a year and a half ago.  All of us have transformed, but our friendship hasn't.

 

 

I have asked them to share some of their stories, successes and struggles.  This is my blog, but as I’ve said before, you are never alone.  These two people, along with wife and another friend I’ll introduce later, are holding me accountable and I am holding them accountable.  They are transforming their lives and are examples to their children and friends on working hard and getting results.  My journey will continue, just like the mustard seed we start small.  I’ve just add a couple more people to go with me.  I will add more.  And by the grace of God we will continue to change lives.

I'm just getting started.

Yes I am.  I'm just getting started with putting up this blog to talk about my adventure in weight loss, getting fit and staying fit.  Well, this is why:

 

And, this is why:

 

     More than two years ago now I was comfortable with my self, content with how I felt, how I looked and where I was physically, mentally & spiritually.  My wife encouraged me to do something that I talked about doing several times, but never did anything about it.  She encouraged me to sign up for a weight loss challenge.  At the time I was around 217 pounds, and really didn't think to much about it.  Nearly 9 weeks after dedicating myself to the challenge, I lost 19 pounds, 4 inches and 4% body fat in 9 weeks.

     One thing that it showed me is that there is always room for improvement.  But, not just physically.  I noticed that my two kids were watching and paying attention.  That's when my heart changed from doing this for me to doing this for them.  I knew I wasn't alone either.  Beside my wife standing by my side during this transformation and felt a stronger presence.  My spiritual strength had exploded in my heart.  After 2 years, I am now down to 175 pounds, doing things I never would have thought about doing, like running in Half Marathons, etc. Now, I feel like I'm being asked to do the same thing my wife did for me, I'm being directed to do this for others. 

     A month ago, by the grace of God, doors opened and I approached my church about starting a small men's Fit and Faith group.  On October 8th it happened.  We meet once a week, share our stories, have a short prayer session and then put in an intense 25 minute work out.  We are a small group, but we will get bigger.  More doors will open.  More opportunities will present themselves.  And more importantly more men & women will come to the Lord through staying fit. 

     Please continue to follow me, my family and our group as we pave the way to the Lord through staying fit, keeping active and eating right.